Text messages saved in my cell phone, vol. 4
Sorry I didn’t call last night. I got into a fight with some punkass in a bear costume.
Did you get my email re: Steveland Hardaway Judkins Morris?
Whoa. Are you like skeksi lord chamberlain now or something?
We all drink our blood one vial at a time.
That is fuckin awesome with a FUCKIN A
16 is legal in Oklahoma Sarah.
John Mailer just asked me out for a beer! And I turned him down!
Like riding the hawkman rocket-cycle at the end of “Flash Gordon”
Dude who the fuck are you
If I kept track of everytime I got bit, I’d need shots.
Fucking A, Sarah Brown. I’m a total asshole?
My new thing: poppers and joles. For hours.
John Candy tour de force. His medallion? Genius.
Her name is Tiffany and she used to have a penis.
To touch a unicorn is forbidden, Lily!
Im going to sock u with a tangerine when u get home.
Do you think any of us will suddenly find Jesus and totally change?
Like Sammy, only faker. Got it.
I am at a party with the hot dog eating champion! And the black widow and spider legs! The biggest names in eating contests really.
Midget sex and GHB. You?
Very interesting. I like to call it the “high road.”
I love drunk scientists! I’m in Tulsa!
Girls into black guys here but not w/me
You want to be knocked around later or should I go to bed?
I’d like to be worth a damn.
Jesus christmas I’ve done a lot of bragging on your part in the last 4 hours
Fishnets. Duct tape. Prospect Park.
Oh, it’s on. Invite all the hesher dudes you know.