thanks to you, i'm sitting in my office saying, "it's a PILL that gives WORMS to ex-girlfriends!" over and over. in the nerdy scientist voice. thank you.
p.s. it was just a few flipper babies!
You're lucky your gag reflex is just kicking, SB -- the first time I had a strep test, I puked all over the doctor's shoes.
Thankfully he wasn't cute or young!
girl! he works in a clinic -- he's not rich. give him a call.
I second Beth's emotion.
Enjoy your trip, SB! It sounds like just the medicine for all the ails you.
God, I am such a grandma.
Shit. All THAT ails you. I fucked up my grandma joke! I so totally suck.
Oh, c'mon!
Call him. It will make for good blog fodder.
Haha! Nice bloggage!
My strep-test reaction is to scream and grab at their amrs. As mortifying as that is, at least I don't physically injure anyone. The last time I had the throat swab, I was 18. They gave me a lollipop after I was finished screaming and flailing around.
I was a tad embarassed. But I ate the lollipop anyway.
best dr. visit story ever.
I have spent hours, possibly days of my life quoting that movie. (But do you agree that Paris is the capital of France? Ok then, we're back in agreement.)
Best made up reason to call a cute girl ever! You must call him back. And he can't be THAT rich - he works at the clinic, not in private practice.
When you say "very thorough", do you mean he had to go under the sweater to check your heartbeat? Without a stethoscope?
Your age, and pulling clinic jobs? Between Dr. Flirty's student loans and his malpractice insurance, you might actually need to pick up the check on that date. Which of course would give you every right to demand a thorough physical in return.
I mean he's good, Jeffrey. And thorough.
Frist of all, way to use "judy". Second, you call the shit out of that man.
Oh, shit. That's pretty much the best story I've heard in a while.
And you'd be a fucking fool not to go on a date with, girl. A FOOL.
"I love how the crazies can spot fellow crazies in public, like they’re all drawing little crazy fishes in the dirt with their walking sticks."
Um. They all seem to come talk to ME. What does that mean?
Was it really R. and Aline? Or were they just R and Aline-like?
The only doctor whose ever hit on me was an elderly dermatologist who informed me that if he was a little younger, he would prove to me that the rash on my chest was not caused by sexual contact.
You are SO lucky you got a young cute one.
I think the youngest/cutest doctor that I maybe might have wished to have made a pass at me looked like Chandler Bing. In a good way. During his healthy weight years, not during the years of drug and alcohol abuse. Mmm, alcohol abuse.
You'd better take him up on that blue tee-shirt, Brown.
mental note: wear skirt and glasses when visiting doctor...
Oh wait, I'm tethered to the University health system, which means I get middle aged registered nurses with a grudge.
Grad school both sucks and rocks at the same time.
(See that Dr. again Sb! He totally called to make sure you got his perscription filled... FOR LOVE! ;^)
Dude! It's like the time I called my optometrist and asked him out, but the other way around, which is SO much more awesome!
Love it!
ooooh - I haven't even read the comments yet - but if he's a clinic doctor he's NOT rich. Wear his blue shirt! Use his knowledge and ability to get you percoset - something!
OMG Sarah Brown I almost peed my pants. You just made my day. Cheers:)
PS - He so totally, obviously wants you. Bad.
I am telling you right now that your rule is stupid, and you should call Dr. Smith back to make sure you didn't leave your blue t-shirt in his office! Rich dudes will never be jobless and make you eat Ramen for a month. Poor dudes, well, it happens. Guess what I am having for lunch, Sarah Brown??
RAMEN, SARAH BROWN. I AM HAVING RAMEN FOR LUNCH.
Ya gotta call him, SB. It'll be like your own personal episode of "Friends." "The One Where Sarah Dates the Doctor That's Not Her Real Doctor."
i believe you may need to make an exception when it comes to him.
Love it. When do doctors all ask out their patients? This is high quality "living in a television show" drama.
"not a parakeet" awesome :) That'll make me giggle all night
Oh, he is so WANTING YOU!
Aren't you totally glad he wasn't a gynecologist? That would have made the whole thing go from exciting and romantic to sordid and creepy.
But no! Throat doctor! Totally safe! Call him!
Call him.
Don't be fatuous, Sarah.
Oh, BS! You should totally call that dude! And besides, he's probably just getting started on paying back his medical loanz. He's probably wicked broke.
Good luck!
Bones has it totally goin' on for you, Captain...
You really need to step on a rusty nail so you can go back for a tetanus shot.
Or have that mole checked out. (I know you own a Sharpie...draw one on!)
oh my gosh, this totally cracked me up! and then i sent all my friends here so they wouldn't think i was crazy when i started saying "you want to swab self?". anyway, this is great and i'll definately be stopping by some more to check out your blog. keep it up!
wow, that's pretty balls-out of dr. john smith (i'm gonna guess that's not his real name, but if it is, that's kind of rad too).
i feel the need to point out, also, that if he's our age and a doctor, he's still got a few decades left of med school loans to pay off. so probably not rich yet. you could maybe get him when he's not rich yet. that seems like an acceptable bending of the rule (which in general i support).
I feel the need to point out that you are Sarah Brown. He's Dr. John Smith. Obviously you are made for each other. C'mon.
And you totally cracked me up with the gag reflex reaction.
ok everyone has said he is not rich cause of loans and working in a clinic. and i totally get the thing about not dating rich guys, cause yeah, yuck. but, if he is rich or will be rich today for a totally nice reason like he cares about people and want to save their lives/make sore throats go away sooner than isn't that a plus? and the fact that he is wokring at a clinic suggests the fact that maybe he isn't all richy and stuck up acting even if he does have $. not dating him would be like not dating a guy cause he has brown hair and you like blonds. oh, come on. what ever will be will be. you know?
you should call him. it might be fun. also, like DM said, sarah brown is totally made for john smith. tee hee.
two words: HEARTBREAKERS CLUB.
just sayin'. it's not a mistake that you're an original member.
You're not only sick, you're crazy! ;-P
If you date him and it doesn't work out then you can have him give you a strep test. Full circle, or oblong, or something.
Sarah Brown,
Date that man.
Love, Nicole
Plus, if he's not rich and he becomes rich, he'll want to stay with you because he'll have known you before he had money. "So I know I can trust her."
Okay, I called him. Just to get everyone off my jock.
There's so much I liked about this post! You are the bestest, funniest writer/observer/blogger. Good for you for calling Dr. Feelgood - keep us posted!
Yesterday I heard this woman on the bus say the following:
"and then I told the woman I work with that I was steaked. And she said 'what do you mean STEAKED?' and I was all 'what do you THINK I mean? I mean steaked! THROUGH THE ARM WITH A STEAK KNIFE!' I was on the roof, the egg flew out of my hand, and the steak went through my arm!"
And I thought of you, SB. The end.
And?! You called him... and?! Squirming in my seat here.
Oh you so have to go out with him.
AHH! I've lost my copy of Brain Candy and I now have a rather strong urge to see it (not helped by the fact that someone said, with emphasis, "muscles...!" this morning and all I could think of was, "big muscles...HUGE muscles...!"). But aside from being bitter about you reminding me of the Brain Candy urge, glad I found your blog today!
Wow, this is like a fantasy. I do hope you call him, if not for the actual experience, then at least a great story to share with the rest of us.
So agreeing with craige there... you called him, and what? Come on, Sarah Brown, don't ruin it now, at this cliffhanger... I came across your blog purely by chance, and LOVED it!!
Right. Found you via Dooce. Loved the Apple Store entry but I love this one even more for the Singles shout out at the end. You are my new favorite person.
First of all- Doctors who work in clinics are usually not rich.
Second of all- This post made my day.
Heh, awesome story! Have a safe trip and a nice weekend, and I hope you're feeling better!