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Comments

Tonight I saw Big Fish. I cried. Both eyes, tears down the cheeks. So you knows it's good & heartwarming. Related to yr post: I like Hugh Grant, but don't want to. What's up with that?

posted by Kate on December 11, 2003 at 01:28 AM

okay - i liked "love actually" as did most of my friends. and before you go a judging and a chopping - my soul is blacker than yours.

posted by kat on December 11, 2003 at 01:40 AM

Kat, just for you, I'll say something nice about the movie:

That was a good idea, using bubble wrap as part of that kid's octopus costume.

Only did they ever EXPLAIN why the nativity play involved lobsters and octopi? No, because it was just there to be CLOYING AND CUTE. Okay, I'm sorry, I have to chop.

posted by Sarah B. on December 11, 2003 at 01:48 AM

Yeah, as far as romantic comedies go, it had WAY more than its fair share of excessively cutesy/unrealistic moments. The soundtrack is excellent, though.

posted by Jenny on December 11, 2003 at 02:02 AM

my climbing partner loved that movie. i have not seen it - i have an allergy to cute.

although, i did LOVE finding nemo. so sue me.

please don't chop our fingers. climbers really need those.

posted by the mighty jimbo on December 11, 2003 at 03:10 AM

Yeah... for a film that featured a veritable LAUNDRY LIST of reasons I might purchase a movie ticket, it was thoroughly disatisfying. My sister and I have a ratings system for romantic comedies, whereby they are scored on the basis of how miserable one feels at the end that Mr. Knightly and Mr. Darcy have never bothered to arrive at OUR houses to right all that's wrong: it's a scale of 1 to 5 bullets to the head, 5 being a real killer, after which the pathos of one's tragic love life makes one want to off oneself, and 1 being pretty lame, overall - no problem.

I gave Love Actually a .5, and only because Colin Firth and Alan Rickman were in it.

posted by Crazy Jane on December 11, 2003 at 03:16 AM

Wait, Sarah, maybe you got up and went to the bathroom at the part when the little boy said he wasn't thinking about his dead mother but about a girl. Wasn't that ADORABLE? Or later when he broke about ten thousand laws busting through airport security to follow his ten-year old heart. Sooooo cute. The only thing I can complain about is NOT ENOUGH DENISE RICHARDS, who is talented and lovely and not trashy or mechanical in any way. In fact, many movies have this not-enough-Denise-Richards problem. I'm going to start some sort of petition.

posted by Kathryn on December 11, 2003 at 04:19 AM

I loved it, actually (<- had to do it). Anyway, I thought the movie was pretty good. I love Hugh Grant.

posted by Don on December 11, 2003 at 05:44 AM

yeah, more denise richards;
she out-teeths julia roberts by a smile--
uh, mile--other than that,
i won't gush--pinkie swear!
:)

posted by stacy on December 11, 2003 at 05:47 AM

ooooh lord. i thought this movie was wretched. it was alright until that kid went to 'america'...then it just turned into a bunch of silly cameos and cheesy coincidences. it just ended too happily. and did ANYONE believe that emma thompson was hugh grants YOUNGER sister?! i thought not... but, i must say, it DID make me want to go home and snuggle up with my family and fiance in london...that is, if i had either such things.

posted by dean (girl with the boys name) on December 11, 2003 at 06:32 AM

i'm wondering what a "magic negro film" is and what makes it something one has to overcome in order to like a movie.

posted by nyema on December 11, 2003 at 08:19 AM

Cute movie. rodrigo santoro is so hot!

posted by Me! on December 11, 2003 at 08:52 AM

Totally trite, and completely contrived, but I must confess that I adored the note-cards-on-the-doorstep scene... not that I'm celebrating infidelity, or the wandering eye, but hello, Andrew Lincoln is a babe, and Keira Knightley is a stick, but a stunning one at that.

posted by a.march on December 11, 2003 at 09:25 AM

Conversation between me and my sister on the way to the car:

Me: "Oh my god, the guy with the cards."
Her: "Totally."
M: "I need a guy with cards."
H: "Yeah, but then you'd be married to the wrong guy."
M: "I'm not getting married."
H: "So, no guy with cards. You're up a creek."
M: "Damnit."

posted by carole on December 11, 2003 at 09:44 AM

i agree with a.march!

posted by antisocial diva on December 11, 2003 at 10:05 AM

Yeah, why are school pageants in movies always so stupid? It totally reminded me of Stepmom, where the kids put on a Thanksgiving play with Bill Clinton coming to dinner. Lame, lame, lame.

Oh, anyone have any guesses on whatever happened between Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman? Did they divorce, separate, patch things up...? I HATE it when they leave stuff like that unresolved, especially since every other storyline, even the really trite ones, wrapped up so nicely!

posted by Jenny on December 11, 2003 at 10:39 AM

Yeah, totally confusing with weird/no character development.

And the dad and son Kate and Leo thing just totally killed it for me.

But like a good little sap, I still cried when Colin Firth did the proposal thing.

I hate myself.

posted by Cati on December 11, 2003 at 11:04 AM

i cried from the beginning to the end. i had a trip to london planned for "five weeks before christmas" and had been looking forward to it for months. then i was fired from my job and had to cancel it. so when i saw the caption at the beginning i lost it. plus, christmas depresses me anyway. i don't think i was in the right frame of mind. heh.

posted by denise on December 11, 2003 at 11:26 AM

Really want to see Love Actually despite reviews. Nice and easy way to spend a couple of brainless hours.

And just curious, but what exactly is a magic negro film?

posted by seraC on December 11, 2003 at 11:49 AM

ok ok ok...see weirdness here is that my fiance who usually hates this stuff really liked it and me the angliophile totally thought it was waaay to cutesy and ordinary, however we both agreed the best part was when hugh grant was knocking on doors looking for the eastender girl and the little girls asked him to sing christmas carols and they danced the awesomest dances in the world..that alone makes me want to have kids....in 7 years.

posted by JEN on December 11, 2003 at 11:54 AM

Movie reviews, yakuza style! So, when do you start doing samurai movies?

posted by Gopi on December 11, 2003 at 11:55 AM

QueSeraSera, I don't like foreign films, so I won't see either of the movies you mentioned. I haven't liked a foreign movie since Crocodile Dundee. Also, I can't believe that I'm the first one to post to your guestbook. That's, like, the best Christmas present I could ask for.

posted by Hector Rhodes on December 11, 2003 at 12:10 PM

Love actually was the best romantic movie i've seen since The Fast and the Furious 2.

posted by Chewy on December 11, 2003 at 12:16 PM

Crocidile Dundee was the best foreign movie EVER! Well, excet for Star Wars. Greedo rules.

posted by Chewy on December 11, 2003 at 12:18 PM

uh oh.
can i take it back???

posted by fish on December 11, 2003 at 12:30 PM

Magic Negro?! wow. Please do explain or expand. And I have seen the movie, so I don't mean the character but rather your insight as to what a Magic Negro is. thanks.

posted by Just Wondering on December 11, 2003 at 12:45 PM

i haven't seen in america, but 'magic negro' usually means loveable black characters with supernatural abilities or wisdom that save the day (usually for white people), perpetuating the thought that they only exist to serve, even if it is in a supposedly positive and heart-warming way. see green mile for further evidence.

posted by brian on December 11, 2003 at 01:44 PM

I'm what apparantly this group would call a "negro". And I have never heard the term "magic negro". This is obviously a term saved for when all the coloreds leave the room.
I assume that the preferred negro role in a film would be something more "negro" and less magic?

posted by Casey on December 11, 2003 at 02:06 PM

yeah i'm totally curious as to what a "magic negro film" is, myself!

can you define that one please?

posted by dori on December 11, 2003 at 02:37 PM

okay. anyone freaking out over the usage of "magic negro" is missing the entire point of what sarah said, and is a total assmouse. the very fact that she pointed out the demeaning use of black people in movies (like the matrix, or the green mile) as mystical figures who say adorably faux-philosophical things and "save" white people from themselves is extremely perceptive. to point out something like that, and its wrongness, is the opposite of racist in every way.
and obviously posting something on the freaking INTERNET isn't "saving it for when the coloureds leave the room". stop being so trigger-happy.

posted by nalini on December 11, 2003 at 03:02 PM

Hi Casey. The term "Magic Negro" is only meant as derogatory toward the condescending filmmakers who make movies featuring such a crappy role.

The preferred role for any character in any film -- black, Asian, American Indian, Mung -- is that of an actual character, rather than the pile of wise cliches that a lot of crappy screenwriters and directors often substitute for writing a character of color as a real person. This school of writing (known as "Crappy," "Racist," or both) assumes that if a non-white character crosses the screen, he or she is there to A) provide comic relief, B) dispense nuggets of wisdom as a service for whatever white person happens to be walking by, and above all C) not be a realistic, fleshed-out character, so that he or she may devote more time to A) and B).

Again, the term is meant as derogatory only toward the attitudes of the filmmakers, and their resultant treatment (that is, their complete reduction to another set of sterotypes) of entire groups of people.

posted by Megalobrianodon on December 11, 2003 at 03:27 PM

Ugh. The moral of Love Actually is that, despite the fact that war and hatred are destroying the world right now, quirky middle class and posh people are blessed with love. Except the frazzled non-profit worker with the mentally ill brother...and the hard-working middle aged mother. Come to think of it, the only women in this movie who find romantic love are two ass-licking secretaries, a beautiful cleaning lady and the lovely Keira Knightly, who looks like a malnourished Britney Spears and doesn't seem to have an occupation other than bride and object of affection. The worst part of it is that I fucking bought it and cried the whole way through. But that was because I'd just sent a loved one off to the airport. Blee.

posted by pie on December 11, 2003 at 03:47 PM

I love faggots with AIDS.

posted by Jordan on December 11, 2003 at 04:07 PM

Morgan freeman = quintessential magic negro.

posted by another mark on December 11, 2003 at 04:09 PM

What Another Mark said.

posted by Lex on December 11, 2003 at 04:22 PM

I'm glad several people stepped up to the mic on the magic negro bit. Thanks. Obviously, it wasn't meant in any sort of offensive way.

Also, I didn't mind the Hugh Grant bits in the movie. Had they cut out the stupider side characters and just focused on Grant story and the Rickman/Thompson characters, that would have been a sweet silly pseudo-sappy movie I could handle.

Also: America: as much as you would like to believe that CHILDREN feel PASSIONATE about one another, despite all the hand-tinted posters on your dorm walls of kids in oversized clothing giving each other ROSES and KISSING, CHILDREN DO NOT FALL IN SERIOUS ADULT LOVE. Jesus Christ, I had a boyfriend when I was 10 too, but I didn't run through airports or think I was in love with him. And that isn't CUTE. It leads to pregnant 13 year olds. For real.

posted by Sarah B. on December 11, 2003 at 04:23 PM

Aside from the bits with Bill Nighly, I hated Love Actually too. I expected more from Richard Curtis. Frankly it felt like a bunch of lesser unused bits from his previous films, all thrown together in a nonsensical wash of sachrine. Kinda like his B-sides or something. Yes that's it. The movie is like Richard Curtis's Pieces Iscariot. And that just won't do.

posted by todd on December 11, 2003 at 05:03 PM

Re: Love, Actually -- I can't believe nobody commented on how at the end, EVERYONE related to all the subplots comes off the SAME AIRPLANE at the same time??? Gimmee a break.

posted by Sharon on December 11, 2003 at 05:33 PM

Yeah, evidently Alan Rickman just took a trip on the divorce plane. Also, everyone but Laura Linney ended up at the airport, which makes the moral of the story "you don't deserve love if you have a retarded brother." A heartwarming holiday classic.

posted by Sarah B. on December 11, 2003 at 05:45 PM

Don't go see love actually by yourself like you would some indy movies, it'll make you never want to have a relationship with anyone ever again. The best part about that movie was Billy Bob as president, ha ha.

posted by Niel on December 11, 2003 at 06:04 PM

Yes, Love Actually=a big bag of missed opportunities (bill nighy, hugh grant as PM, billy bob in a kick-ass cameo, a lovely non-stickfigure brunette in an object-of-affection role, overall killer cast) strung together with ultra-crappy, half-assed romantic comedy cliches. This movie was all over the place. It filled me with hatred. Honestly.

On the other hand, if you DO want a heartwarming Christmas flick, "Elf" actually does a nice job of it. Funny, totally non-ironic sweet holiday fun. Pretty stylish, too. Give it a twirl.

posted by scotty on December 11, 2003 at 06:21 PM

I loved Elf. That part where he picks up his brother from school and says, "Good news! I saw a dog today!" made me laugh even when the scene was over.

posted by Sarah B. on December 11, 2003 at 06:37 PM

maybe someday i will star in a movie as a magic half-chink. well i can dream, can't i?

posted by patti on December 11, 2003 at 09:16 PM

Last time I laughed at the movies was when somebody tripped down the aisle...

posted by Kevynn Malone on December 11, 2003 at 11:08 PM

I was forced to see Love, Actually because I was in movie switching mode and otherwise would have had to go out and face grim reality. It was the theater next door and there were lots of ushers about at the time. The main thing I noticed was the fact that the only people who found true love were the people who had only had 1-2 conversations. Anyone who seemed to know anyone else in any way (e.g., husband and wife) seemed incapable of loving them. Love=anonymity.

Thus I found it not 'cute' but a dark statement on the impossibility of genuine human connection.

I hope my pinky is safe.

posted by Miel on December 12, 2003 at 12:26 AM

to the person that commented on them all coming off the same plane: that was the entire basis of the movie, if you've read about it at all- that it all ends with everyone in the airport and it's all leading up to that. personally, i thought it was one of the best movies i've seen in a long time, so good that when i left, i was thoroughly depressed.

posted by alexa on December 12, 2003 at 02:07 AM

love, actually = extreme frustration. i have a fairly high tolerance level for lame movies, but this one had SUCH POTENTIAL. it was that much more of a letdown. fooey.
p.s.--crazy jane's rating system for romantic comedies is hilarious. i'm telling my sister about it asap.

posted by k on December 12, 2003 at 05:36 AM

then "schindler's list"
would be a magic czech film,
"saving private ryan"
would be a magic ranger captain film,
and "erin brokovich"
would be a magic smiling floozy film

or am i somehow misunderstanding the concept?

posted by stacy on December 12, 2003 at 08:02 AM

btw,
any time you encounter a term you don't understand, google it...
in this case,
you will get approximately one dozen results,
using the term with either "film" or "movie"
and a good explanation of it in terms of
"the green mile"

and i guess mel gibson's new movie
is a "magic jew film"

posted by stacy on December 12, 2003 at 08:08 AM

You have to admit, the old rocker guy was pretty funny!

posted by DizzyG on December 12, 2003 at 10:57 AM

Stacy: You are absolutely one hundred percent correct. Excellent work. You get an A for the day.

posted by ernesto on December 12, 2003 at 03:38 PM

If I see you walking down the street, I'll cross to the other side because I quiet like my pinkie finger.

posted by jenn on December 12, 2003 at 11:12 PM

I am often quiet, like my pinky finger. My pinky finger in the ultimate silence.

posted by megaolodon on December 13, 2003 at 01:01 AM

Me, I'm pretty vocal in my love for my pinkie finger.

posted by Sarah B. on December 13, 2003 at 01:12 AM

i saw love actually yesterday, and i want to thank you, sarah brown, for softening the disappointment for me.

the only romance i was rooting for was hugh grant + the chubby girl. everybody else can suck it.

also, did anyone else think it would have been way cuter if during the little placard wooing scene, the "to me, you are perfect" were not directed at keira knightly, who IS perfect? ugh.

p.s. can i be the magic persian?

posted by sepi on December 13, 2003 at 12:13 PM

Yeah, you know, cause you're far too cool to like something like that.

posted by Port-O-Potty Picasso on December 13, 2003 at 01:58 PM

"Magic negro film"?

posted by Sadia on December 13, 2003 at 05:03 PM

Oh, sure, let me explain.

posted by Sarah B. on December 13, 2003 at 06:30 PM

My pinky really comes out on friday night.

posted by Niel on December 13, 2003 at 06:56 PM

listen sarah, i don't know if you'll see this or i'm repeating since you get 843,973 comments... but i liked love, actually; actually.
with the exception of the meaningless and horrible hugh grant character's story line it was a decent film.

plus, the porno stand-in thing was one of the most awesome thigngs i have seen in months.

posted by jason on December 13, 2003 at 07:58 PM

My friends gushed about Love Actually and how you couldn't help but leave feeling happy. I saw it this weekend and was left wondering what in the fucking HELL they were talking about. Not only is it trite and simpering, it does NOT leave one feeling happy but rather melancholy, and with an asshole of a headache.

posted by Chelsea on December 14, 2003 at 04:25 PM

i'll let you know when
"love actually"
reaches the 3/$ wall...


meanwhile,
forgive me if i asked this already,
bit did anyone else notice that
"Bridgit Jones Diary"
was a magic pride and prejudice film?
his name was Darcy, even!

posted by stacy on December 14, 2003 at 04:33 PM

please, dear friend, post something else so I can stop thinking about people's disappointing tastes.

Not the people who hated it, though.

posted by megaolodon on December 14, 2003 at 09:49 PM

Bridget Jones actually is based on Pride and Prejudice. Mark Darcy = Mr. Darcy, Daniel = Mr. Wickham, and Mark rescues Bridget's mother from her own stupidity just like Mr. Darcy rescues Lydia. Helen Fielding, the author, said the similarities were intentional. I think the sequal (The Edge of Reason) might be based on Persuasion

posted by D on December 15, 2003 at 01:42 AM

The "Secret Santa" movie on NBC last night turned out to be a "magic negro" film.

posted by Michael on December 15, 2003 at 12:38 PM

C'mon, now. No matter how many times they tried to convince us that Hugh Grant's secretary was chubby (by saying so repeatedly!), she was NOT chubby by any means. She's a slim but *curvy* woman. Curves = good. Stick = bad. Repeat after me. (Obviously some people will believe it if they hear it enough times. And again!))

posted by shelley on December 15, 2003 at 07:30 PM

i love that your post is quite short, but your comment box is amazingly long. and funny.

all of my friends have been attempting to convince me to see L.A. but I'm just not into it after whats been said about it. this is better than ebert & theotherguy

:is also fond of her pinkie finger, will do anything to avoid 'ghost finger' syndrome.

posted by Chloe on December 16, 2003 at 03:02 PM

this post, and its comments, were the highlight of my afternoon.

sarah, i love your readers.

posted by julia on December 17, 2003 at 07:49 PM