love it!! my kids are obsessed with that photo too. i like to give my kids choices. such as, "would you like to get on the plane right now, or in 30 seconds?"
As a childless person who isn't sure if she wants children and had never been in that situation, I of course had plenty of smug ideas of how I'd have handled it. Would you like to get on the plane, or would you like to live at the orphanage with the badgers?
Also an option: would you like to get on the plane, or would you like to walk behind?
"Now we're going to get on the plane, and you can have your snack and your coloring book."
Okay, I have to stop now before I have a parenting blog.
My personal feeling is that I will never travel with a child who can't take care of his/her own self, carry his/her own stuff, and ideally could handle the entire trip solo. Can't do all that? Then get back in the attic with the raccoons. Maybe if you're good, we'll give you a badger.
Sarah Brown! What do you mean you're not sure if you want children?! Is this a new development? Do we have Nick to blame? Because I feel like you've always been so vocal about liking kids and wanting some of your own one day. I know I'm just a stranger who reads your blog but this is surprising.
when i get on the plane i'm all like "see you next week" to my son lolright?
I had the book 'Squirrel Nutkin' which has a naughty squirrel teasing an owl, who then grabs him and the other squirrels don't know if he's been eaten. Another Potter book 'Pip the Pixie' had Pip riding on a jellyfish without asking permission, and the jellyfish saying, "When you get down within tentacle reach, I'ma kill you". Scary.
I have three nephews under the age of 10. I will let them listen to The Clash and take them on roller-coasters five times in succession. That being said, I never allow them to think for one second that they actually have any control about any given situation they're in.
For instance, I may or may not have told them once if they can't behave at the local library it's almost certain that the librarians have a dungeon in the basement where they put the bad children who can't be quiet or fail to return books in a timely manner. Maybe next time I'll let it slip that there are badgers in the dungeon. Hungry badgers. And if they survive all that then they'll eventually be shipped off to live with the Gypsies.
"Victorian England, fuck yeah!"
Sarah, I'm expecting my first in January. You wouldn't be interested in a full-time, live-in nanny position, by any chance? Whip the little rugrat into shape?
If you've worked out the whole 'bringing snacks along as lures' thing already, you're bound to be an excellent mother.
I was always the kind of parent whose child stared pointedly at other children eating and said loudly, "Can I have a snack Mummy?" whilst I rooted around in my handbag desperately for anything vaguely edible.
I'm not sure about having kids either, but I'm allll about some Beatrix Potter. The Tale of Tom Kitten is about a naughty kitten whose clothes are too tight, and The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin is about, obvy, a naughty-ass squirrel.
LOVE Beatrix Potter. My favourite was always The Tale of Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, about a hedgehog who does laundry. Excellent.
Hi Kelly Sue. I don't know you, and that seems like a bit of a personal question, but it's a question that people keep asking me lately, and I'm going to answer it this time in the hopes that then maybe people will stop asking.
We love kids. Kids are great. However, kids are a huge and permanent lifestyle change, and they require giving up a lot of things I'm not ready to give up yet. We've spent the past year living in other people's homes and waiting to just have a normal life together, and once we have that, we'd like to enjoy it for awhile before we even think about introducing any new elements into our lives.
Sarah - I just have to say that as a married 30 something I field the children question constantly. I never really know how to reply because it seems so personal.
You, however, managed to articulate it so well. I think you should have cards made up: "We love kids. Kids are great. However, kids are a huge and permanent lifestyle change, and they require giving up a lot of things I'm not ready to give up yet." I'd buy a whole stack to hand out in response to that question.
Thanks, Kristen. I know people mean it nicely and I do share bits of my personal life here, but unless you're friends, that question seems like a potential minefield.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. And you're right, that can be a delicate question... I had a coworker who asked another coworker why she didn't have kids yet, and the other coworker burst into tears... she and her hubby had been fighting about it for months. Yikes!
Thank you for sharing the bits of your personal life that you do share here... I love reading them.
I hate it when people ask me that, because the answer is that we're having fertility issues and it's not really something I want to make small talk about with a stranger. If you're my friend or family, you know and it's fine, but otherwise I'd prefer for you to just keep wondering and keep it to yourself!
I remember when you had a Formspring account last year and people kept asking when you were going to have babies. I thought it was kind of rude but they were anonymous so maybe they felt like it was ok. I don't remember your reply but I remember thinking "She handled that better than I would have." Anyway, if you do have any, please name one Mr. Alderman Hearthrug Oilcloth.
i got sick of hearing it and started answering truthfully: "just as soon as i can stop miscarrying!" shuts them right up.
We were married 16 years before we had our son. I CAN tell you this: Eventually people will stop bugging you. But for those who insist on bringing it up, we came up with some replies, such as:
"What, have a child with HIM/HER??"
"We've always wanted children, but we only recently found out that we've been doing it wrong."
Having a child does change everything. And while some people will insist it changes everything for the better, I'm here to tell you that that isn't necessarily true. For example, I no longer sleep longer than 4 hours at a time. My son, whom I love dearly, is 18 months old. I consider the sleeping situation unacceptable, but what can I do? That kid is a crappy sleeper, and I have no solution.
Don't be cowed by those who tell you you're selfish (you're not). It is completely up to you and your best friend. Do what's right for you.
Victorian England? fuck no.
Medieval England, FUCK YES.
"thatch the roof or daddy'll feed you to the Celts."
I don't mind so much when people ask me if I ever plan to have kids (the answer being a resounding NO, NOT EVER!). What makes me want to punch people in the throat is the invariable argument that they wish to start after I answer their (overly personal, none-of-their-business-really) question, because it's always "Oh, you'll change your mind someday *condescending smile*". When, in reality, I will not change my mind someday, thanks. I do not now, nor have I ever (even when I was one) particularly like most kids, I actively dislike all babies, and I'm fine with that being the case. What really kills me about this is nobody seems to consider how unbearably and obviously rude it would be to say similar things to someone who expressed a desire to _have_ children ("Oh, you'll change your mind someday, you silly thing, you"). *sigh*
Anyway, you are definitely much more graceful about the prying than I would manage to be in your situation, which I find admirable.
It's easier because very few people in my real life ever ask. It's mostly the internet. I usually just ignore the internet when it's nosy, but it was a good opportunity to get that off my chest.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE BABIES, SARAH BROWN. I AM SURPRISED AND DISAPPOINTED YOU ARE EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS.
You *are* joking, PierceALLCAPS, right?
Because bollocks is still bollocks, EVEN IF YOU SHOUT.
It's cool Dan; Pierce is with me.
And if Pierce is cool, then apologies and best delete That One as well. I was feeling feisty last night.
Oh Sarah Brown, if only every person who had children took the time to think about the life-altering changes and sacrifices as you and Nick have. The fact that you even think about that makes you more qualified to parent than 99% of the population.
Nick is definitely qualified to parent. He's very kind and patient and knows how to do things. I, on the other hand, have yet to get the homemade popsicles out of the plastic container you freeze them in all by myself.
It's okay, Dan C. It would be a bit of a waste of time being sarcastic in capital letters if people didn't react appropriately from time to time.
"Do you want to get on the plane?"
Jesus scabies-infested cheap polyester airplane blanket, woman.
A conversation with my dad. 1985. Setting: the dinner table. I am staring insolently at a plateful of boiled squash, which I hate; at age 30 I will love this dish more than anything McDonald's could ever offer.
DAD: Eat your vegetables.
ME: I don't like squash!
DAD: I didn't *ask* you to like it. I *told* you to eat it.
I am a first time commenter but I love your blog. I have to say I hope you do have kids (totally selfishly) so I can read all about them and also so they can grow up to be cool people.
I think one problem we face as a species is the people who should procreate are the ones who consider it logically and the ones who shouldn't do. lol
I actually think not going back that far. Just to the Mad Men era when kids were well behaved and the parents were drunk most of the time and badly behaved.
Now I feel like such a cunt for a comment I made on a flickr picture. Sorry.
wondered over her from dooce - how funny and real... love you.
I'm planning a trip home to up-state NY to visit Grandpa, I'm in the beautiful Great Lake state these days... but point is I've never been to NYC and shit I was born in NY... so if you are looking to rent that brooklyn apt for a long weekend... it would be my 19 yr old son, maybe my mom... and I'll be doing all the touristy things....
Amen, sistah! If fewer tails wagged the dog these days, we might not be in such a pickle.
I'm just sayin'.
Ugh, when my niece was very young my sister and her husband would come over to our house for dinner and we'd eat in the dining room. When dinner was served and we were all making our way to the dining room, my sister/her husband would as their kid, "Where would you like to sit?" Kid was 4 or 5 TOPS, and does NOT get to make that decision, especially since you know... WASPs basically have assigned seating at Sunday Dinner and a 4 year old doesn't get to disrupt that order. I remember my mom using her Mom Voice and saying, "[Kid] sits there, between you two". We don't do many family dinners anymore, haha.
Also, when Kid was acting up one time, her father turned to her and said, "Stop it or daddy will put you in a snow bank" - she might have been little but she wasn't STUPID, so of course she knew her dad wasn't going to punish her by putting her in a snowbank! No consequences = devil child and horrid teenager (hence no more family dinners).
I am a single woman of forty and was at a dinner party recently at which a woman asked me - in front of everyone - if I was going to go to a sperm bank to have a child since I was at the end of my fertility and alone. Obviously, it was an extremely rude question (the woman was not a friend), and it also left me in a difficult position. I have never particularly wanted children, AND I couldn't see myself ever electing to be a single parent. Some of the women present were single parents, so I refrained from stating the latter. Actually I think I mostly just stared, dumbfounded, into my potatoes. I'm fortunate in that I have many other interests in life and I've never particularly wanted children. I've had some soul-searching moments over the issue, but in the end I'm at peace over it. More money and time for me! I'm sure you'll do whatever is right for you two. For now, enjoy your wedding!!
I run popsicles under warm water for a few minutes. It can get them a little too melty from the getgo, and sometimes they break in half when I try to pull them out, but it usually works.
Now I really want juice popsicles.
'Alderman Hearthrug Oilcloth' cracked me up.
I love when Tom Thumb and Hunka Munka get PISSED that the food is fake and completely trash the dollhouse in The Tale of Two Bad Mice.
The last time my niece visited, I pulled out my own old Beatrix Potter books. She chose to have The Tale of Two Bad Mice read over and over again. I thought it might be about the doll house, but maybe there is something to this naughtiness... Why have I never heard of this Fierce Bad Rabbit?? Was I shielded? This is an injustice! I predict she would be fascniated as well. Supporting evidence: she likes to tell people about places she and her sister (who never existed) used to go. (Pause after story is done.) "Yeah. And then she died."
Hi Sarah! I found your blog from notoriousmle.com. I thought I'd start reading at the end of the first page and this entry is hilarious. You're right up my alley. Cheers for a short, but sweet read! LOVE Beatrix Potter!