I'm sure the lady was doing the best she could with what she had to work with. You were in a bridal shop. I got married in what was being sold as a bridesmaid dress, maybe that could be a place to look?
Ha ha ha ha! AWESOME.
Etsy has some rocking dresses made by people with a less conventional sense of "wedding dress". Or maybe you should have one made for you (maybe something long and white, with a veil?).
Bwahaha! Poor lady's head probably exploded.
I disagree with the first commenter - mainly because of forcing the veil on you. It's about her and her commission -- selling you extra nonsense. Good luck with the dress!
Feh, bridal shops. I'm a somewhat traditional bride (except for that whole marrying a woman thing) and they annoy the piss outta me.
I'd go in saying you're looking for a special occasion dress and specify the color/sleeve style/skirt type you want. That way you don't have to fib and say you're a bridesmaid, and they don't treat you as one big dollar sign because they know you're getting married.
I love you so much.
I'm going to comment that in every post you write. Try and stop me.
Yeah, I've mostly been looking at bridesmaid or cocktail or special occasion dresses. This trip to this bridal shop was more of an exploratory fact-finding mission to confirm that yes, I really don't want a long white dress and veil.
When I was doing this nonsense five years ago, my mother and the lady in the bridal shop both kept trying to get me to try on strapless. And I'm kind of a chesty lass, so it was a really BAD look on me. They wouldn't stop until I compared the look to someone hiring a hooker as their date to prom.
I totally agree with Alice. You're awesome cake with nifty sauce, and we all love you. I'm sure you'll get something that suits you perfectly.
Two words: naked wedding.
ha! when I was shopping for a wedding dress, some saleslady told me i HAD to get a tiara, because "without a tiara, you're just some girl in a white dress." umm. ..
I'm shopping for a wedding dress right now too, and I completely understand what you're going through! How many variations on the long white strapless gown exist?? Give me tea length with cap sleeves or I might consider the naked wedding thing.
I wore a 1950s-style knee-length Betsey Johnson strapless dress in seafoam green that made me look like an extra from "West Side Story." I got it at Macys for like $200.
I got married in May so I had a good selection of prom dresses to choose from too.
It does depend on the bridal shop. I found my (pink) wedding gown at one. I didn't even want to get out of the car, but the saleslady was really nice and had exactly what I wanted. And she was like, "Oh lord I hope you don't want a veil I don't know where I'll ever find a pink one." So they're not all terrible. But I second the etsy idea ... they've got some amazing stuff on there.
HAHAHAHAHA...you have me laughing out loud. I also was adamantly ANTI-veil. I ended up finding a tailor and having her make my dream dress from scratch. We picked the material together, I brought some magazines and pointed to stuff: "I like those sleeves, that body..."etc. and it was awesome. And strangely, cheaper than most of the bridal shop cookie-cutter dresses. Good luck.
Ugh, wedding dress shopping. My best friend got engaged last summer and was about to start dragging me around to hunt for the perfect wedding dress when she got knocked up. Apparently a hugely pregnant lady in a big white gown is just too tacky so she's going with a repurposed bridesmaid's dress she found on Etsy.
My favorite part is that now we get to have shotgun-shaped wedding cake!
I got married in a chocolate brown wrap dress myself... I never even set foot in a bridal shop. Maybe you should look into vintage dresses. Not vintage bridal dresses by any means, just something vintage-y and special, I think that would be very Sarah Brown.
Remember Styro's wedding dress? Maybe you should go there. http://www.dollycouture.com/
The tag on the veil reminds me of this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rebeccaswadek/1121015534/in/photostream/
And I actually know someone who smiles like that and it made me laugh out loud!
I had fun wedding dress shopping (nearly 12 years ago) -- went all over Dallas and Ft. Worth with my mom, sister, and grandmother -- and at only one place was there a lady like that one. Or maybe because that many people in my entourage sort of scared the "you gotta wear a veil" types off?
Are you talking "not white" as in cream, or almost-there pastel, or do you mean something like my co-worker's absolutely luscious orange? Either way, I think whatever makes you feel like a million bucks is what you should get.
As a non-traditional (whatever that means) bride to be (ikes, i can hardly type that out) myself, I have to say the best luck i've found is at stores that focus more on bridesmaids. they seem to cater to women who don't come in with a full binder of 'inspiration' photos ripped from magazines. also, you might want to check siri dresses, all of their dresses are made to order, totally reasonable, and they come in awesome, natural fabrics like raw silk and in a variety of cool colors. http://www.siriinc.com/collections-bridal.html
Ha! You are funny x 7.
Good luck with the dress bizness.
Ha ha! This post cracked me up! I didn't do the whole bridal shop thing when I got married and am glad I could avoid that bit of wedding related insanity. I agree with the other posters about looking elsewhere.
De-lurking here to wish you a belated congratulations on the engagement! Also, this post pretty much sums up what I expect my wedding dress shopping experience would look like. The photos of you with the veil made me do that laugh-cry thing. Even if you didn't find a dress that day, you did the Interweb a solid by making people laugh. So thanks!
recommendation: http://offbeatbride.com/
excellent for ideas about weddings that are more YOU and less wedding industry. ariel has awesome ideas and posts gorgeous pictures of many unconventional weddings.
I second Alice's emotion.
Just a thought - maybe if you speak "bride" they might listen. By your description you're looking for a style similar to the Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face bride's dress
http://images.quickblogcast.com/8/2/8/0/7/181388-170828/Audrey_Hepburn_Funny_Face.bmp
But in a different color, no?
That'll get some action from those bridey-types.
PS I wore purple and found it at a street market for about $80 after a good FIVE WEEKS of tearing my hair out in bride shops. My husband's outfit cost more than mine!
oops and I meant to say the Audrey dress WITHOUT veil, natch.
J. Crew has a nice selection of fancy dresses/bridesmaid dresses that come in a variety of colors. Save yourself from the horrors of bridal shops and hit J. Crew's website. The website might not give you free champagne whilst you try on dresses, but it will keep idle hands from shifting your bust around inside a dress (this actually happened to me) and trying to force a tiara or veil on your head.
I did quite literally LOL at this post. Just fucking brilliant.
No veil?? But it's your special daaaaaaaay!!
I looked at the dollycouture site Mrs. Kennedy linked to and that main photo - the dress with 3/4 length sleeves and a full skirt is pretty sweet. It's shown in white but would be hot in an actual color too.
I was having a really shitty day and your dress shopping photos made me laugh - thanks Sarah Brown!
Aww, Jackie up there is so sweet to recommend Offbeat Bride. Jackie, SarahB and I go way back to the paleolithic era of early '00s blogging. :)
That cracks me up, the bridal store ladies were just like that when I went in there, pushing all the accesories on me, having me put on their shoes and shoving random tiaras and veils on my head. I liked the bridal warehouse store that I went to, they let you do your own thing, browse through the racks, pick out your own dresses and put them on yourself, and their only involvement (unless you ask for help) is to put the dresses away after you put them on a peg to indicate you're done with them.
I was so confused. There is an "alternative" bridal salon here in Austin called Unbridaled, and for a second I thought this exchange took place in said store...but no, it couldn't be.
I never went into a bridal store looking for my dress. I stumbled onto a great one on J Crew, as mentioned earlier. And I fixed up some flowers for my hair.
You are the best Sarah Brown. thanks for writing.
that's crazy, ariel--i had no idea that you and the great sarah brown were acquainted. small electronic world...
the recommendations stands though. your site/book are awesome.
(Unrelated to tacky wedding shops, but anyway:)
My sister: "Our aunt is taking me on a free trip to NYC, what should I do while I'm there?"
Me: "CRINGE! YOU SHOULD GO TO CRINGE! It sounds awesome and Sarah Brown is so much fun, and .... wait, when are you going?"
My sister: "Next week."
Me: "Shit. Cringe is in London right now."
My sister: "..."
Me: "Postpone your trip."
My sister: "There is something REALLY wrong with you."
You should definitely try on all sorts of dresses, even if you think you know what you want. You might be surprised at how great something is once it is on. I was completely anti-strapless and then I found a dress online that I liked the rest of so much that I ended up without straps. And some that are really horrible are still good for a laugh. Just ignore those crazies in the shops.
OK, I've been trying to sell SOMEONE on this idea since my husband vetoed it,
ZOMBIE FLASHMOB WEDDING
That's all I'm saying.
Probably a better idea to look for a bridesmaid's dress.
Thanks for all these suggestions and ideas and emails! You guys are smart.
I already got married, but you just made my whole year. I laughed so long and loudly my husband looked at me with his worried face.
In the spirit of constructive commenting, have you tried prom dresses? Or vintageous.com?
I had almost this exact experience, only the bridal shop lady was also INSISTENT that I wear a bra with the dress. A veil-less and bra-less bride was more than she could handle.
Oh, please, pleeaaaseeee....i´m a mess right now laughint out loud in the office....
i´m getting married next april, and my dress is green, more coctail dress or bridesmeid than bride gown type.I hope you find yours quickly....
These might be a little too retro, but here's another site you might want to look at: http://www.whirlingturban.com. It excels at the short dress and is definitely not shy about color. Or tiger print. Or hawaiian... you get the picture.
If you're still in London, you should definitely look at Candy Anthony http://www.candyanthony.com
That's where I'm getting my 50s style red-with-leopard-print-trim dress. And no veil! Hurrah! They're starting an off-the-rack collection soon, which will be cheaper than the made-to-measure stuff.
hahahahaha! yeah. bridal shops scare the crap out of me for just this reason. so I never went to one and somehow I managed to get married. in blue without a veil. huh.
I went to one bridal shop and loved the one knee length dress they had, but it may have been because it was the only one that wasn't long (and it still needed a lot of adjustments to be ok, which put it outside of my budget). I laughed at all of the traditional dresses in my budget in that shop.
And I completely agree with your comment on veils. So so much. Why was I wanting to ever wear a veil outside of my wedding? So why would I want one there?
Oh dear god... I'm sure this is why I've avoided actual wedding shops so far! Very funny but... gads!
Don't go into a bridal shop expecting something not long and white.
Try a bridesmaid dress, or better yet, go to an upscale department store and get into their once-in-a-lifetime gown section.
I stumbled upon your blog and found your writing both funny and relative to my own life. I'm getting married in June and lived in London for awhile. I just started a blog if you have time to check it out at: thisextraordinaryday.blogspot.com
Thanks for your posts!
--Gabrielle
I'm going through the same thing right now. I wanted a retro style tea length wedding dress. I finally found it on Ebay. Good luck!
www.ariadress.com I got the bridesmaid dresses there and my wedding dress - an a-line strapless bridesmaid dress in white - but you can do any color and try them on if you're in NYC. Also: cheap for a wedding dress.
I got married in a rented Victorian gown (dyed an off-white color with tea by the shop owner). My husband-to-be's tux and top hat were rented, why not the dress? Plus we had no money. My bridesmaids also wore rented Victorian dresses with colored slips underneath.
Ughhh you were so much more interesting before you got engaged.
I will never understand why someone would write a rude comment on a blog. Think it, fine. Email it to your friend and talk about it together, fine. But taking the trouble to leave it on my site and make sure I read it just makes no sense, unless you wanted to hurt my feelings and think you'll feel better about yourself somehow by doing so.
Ughhh you're an arsehole Anna.
I was going to be long-winded and eloquent, but that covers it.
Oh, apologies if my comment above lowers the tone of discourse - I'd hate to see Que Sera Sera descending into YouTube-esque angry comments hell.
Personally, I think this engagement stuff makes for hilarious posts. It's a new adventure!
This should give you something to aspire to: http://chicago.metromix.com/home/essay_photo_gallery/tacky-weddings/1250272/photo/all
ebay? also, i think the lady at the shop was trying to play mom. wonder what she wore at her wedding or plans to.
You should get married on Halloween so you can wear a zombie costume. You look so awesome in zombie costumes! I've never said that to anyone before.
This made me laugh out loud. My sister-in-law and I walked into Nordstrom's one afternoon, a week before my wedding, and walked out 3 hours later with dress, bra, stockings and matching earrings/bracelet. Also, a shirt, suspenders and socks for the groom. It was a blast and when we left my salesgirl cried and hugged us and bought us coffee. I'd never do it any other way. You wanna borrow my sister-in-law? She makes shit happen.
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I had this same experience in a bridal boutique (I hate those words) a few months ago. I marched my happy ass home, found a dress I already own (vintage, knee-length cocktail dress from the 1960s that is falling APART) and took it to a seamstress. I'm having it made for about half the cost of a traditional wedding dress.
The seamstress asked what kind of changes I wanted to make to the design.
I said "none. I like this dress."
She was like, "I don't understand... you want me to this exact dress, just in a different color?" "Yes."
"Oh that's really easy."
"Great. Do it."
And that's my whole experience with dresses. Dunzo!
AWESOME. Points to you for the most awesome rejoinder in the history of managing pushy salespeople.
My husband and I said 'eff everyone' and got married in our back yard, under a regal old oak tree. I wore a red sundress and strappy sandals (both from Macy's) and he wore khaki shorts, a black short-sleeved button down, and sandals. We are atheists, so we had a close friend of ours become ordained online so that he could legally marry us. We had fantastic live music, an awesome BBQ spread for dinner, a gigantic cake with fresh strawberries, blueberries and raspberries, and a very laid-back party atmosphere. Our wedding date also coincided that year with the local fireworks display that you could see from our back yard. It was fantastic.
I'm not saying that's the way for everyone to go. I'm just sayin'...do your thing, girl. Already sounds like you are. :o)
Tell them you are a bridesmaid. Never admit to being the bride. Everything for brides is a) 4 times as much and b) heinous.
http://www.urlesque.com/2010/01/04/nicholas-cage-as-everyone/ Sarah I saw this Nic Cage link and thought of you.
have you considered reversible double full circle skirt handed beaded with cat suit??
http://trunc.it/5a1i1