Yay! Text messages are my faves of all your posts.
Years from now, these will be classic reading. People will list under their favorite quotes on their scrolling marquee forehead signs: "It’s been decided that the creepiest way to wake up would be to Art Garfunkel crying softly into your hair."
I agree with the first commenter: these are my favorites posts that you do. They never fail to make me laugh out loud and wish I saved all my text messages even though my friends and family aren't even half as funny as yours. :)
I can't believe someone name-dropped ENIAC. Brilliant.
"I’m drunk on a Monday, so it feels like you should be here"
There's true friendship, right there.
So much truth in such short sentences. Taco Bell alone is just so sad. But not as bad as International House of Pancakes alone. No one has been known to survive that.
Also, I'm impressed by the absence of abbreviation. Your friends must have those fancy cellphones.
A) Your friends n fam are a rare collection of specimens -- witty, cryptic in the best way, and MAY THE CORSETED HAIRY SHATNER BLESS THEM, users of correct punctuation and capitalization. In TEXTS.
B) Each of these lines could be a novel in and of itself -- they're like windows you could see through with total clarity in the instant your train passes by a house with uncurtained rooms at dusk, just after they've turned the lights on -- but also, each one just begs to be the opening line of a novel of normal length.
Which is to say: I love this post. :-)
Is the neighborhood shaped like a penis or does Sam Ronson's vagina not care about shape or texture?
Oh my god, I want to hang out with your friends. And you of course. These are awesome.
I hung onto 16 as long as I could, too.
Then I woke to Art Garfunkel crying softly in my hair.
How about a SWAMP THING Update?
these are always so laugh out loud hilarious. thank you.
What is a James Van Der Beek? If I'm going to sound intelligent at cocktail parties, this is something I need to know.
i would text you more, but there is too much competition. i like winning.
This is the best volume yet.
you need to turn these into a book. they are absolutely the best.
These never fail to make me laugh out loud. Thanks for the much needed humor!